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  1. #1
    Moderator JakeBrake's Avatar
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    Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    A zoo in Georgia, had a female gorilla that became hard to handle. The vet determined that she was in heat but no male gorilla was available. The zoo keeper thought of Bobby Lee, a part time cage cleaner. Bobby Lee,
    like most red necks, had little sense, but could satisfy a female of any species. The zoo keeper asked Bobby if he would mate with the gorilla
    for $500.00. Bobby said yes, but under
    four conditions.

    #1 I aint going to kiss her on the lips.

    #2 you can't never tell no one about this

    #3 I want the kids raised Southern Baptist.

    #4 you gotta give me time to come up with the $500.00

    [ 03-22-2006, 05:07 AM: Message edited by: JakeBrake ]

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Re: Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    A gorilla had escaped from the local zoo and had been treed outside a suburban home. The homeowner called the zoo and the zoo keeper arrived to capture the animal. He asked the homeowner to help.

    From his van, he took out a long pole, a dog, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. He told the lady to hold the shotgun and the handcuffs. He was going to knock the gorilla out of the tree with the stick, and when the gorilla fell out of the tree, the dog was going to rush in and bite the gorilla on the genitals. For that second in time when the gorilla is frozen in shock, the lady was to slap the handcuffs on the gorilla and then the zoo keeper would take the animal away.

    The lady went through the sequence - stick, dog, handcuffs. She asked "what's the shotgun for?" The zoo keeper replied "if the gorilla knocks me out of the tree, shoot the dog!"

  3. #3
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    Re: Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    A young lad goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. "Hmmmm," he wonders, "how am I gonna get more cash?" Then he gets an idea. He calls his father.

    "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! They actually have a program here that teaches Gorillas to talk!"

    "Why that's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get one in that program?"

    "Just send me a Gorilla with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course." So his father sends a Gorilla and the $1000. About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. So the boy calls his father again.

    "So how's the Gorilla doing, son?" his father asks. "Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - now they have a program here that will teach a Gorilla to READ!"

    "READ!" says his father, "That's amazing! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

    "Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." So his father sends the money. At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets home, his father will find out that the Gorilla can't read or talk. So he shoots the Gorilla. When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's the Gorilla? I just can't wait to hear him talk and listen to him read something!"

    "Dad," the boy says, "I have some bad news. This morning when I got out of the shower, the Gorilla was in the living room kicking back in the recliner and reading the Tribune, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked 'So, is your father still messin' around with that blonde that lives over on Lake Shore Drive?' "

    His father says "I hope you SHOT that lyin' sack of trash!"
    Personal Comment

    Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
    ~ Winston Churchill ~


    ...Rich Wagner

  4. #4
    Moderator JakeBrake's Avatar
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    Re: Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    LOL

  5. #5
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    Re: Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    Crazy Gorilla


    It was a beautiful, warm spring morning. A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.

    She was wearing a loose-fitting, pink dress -- sleeveless with straps. He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt.

    As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large, silverback gorilla.

    Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand.

    He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.

    The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.

    He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom.

    She played along and the gorilla got even more excited making noises that would wake the dead.

    Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did, and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down.

    "Now show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he said.

    This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.

    Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut.

    Then said, "Now, tell him you have a headache."
    Roland Stens

  6. #6
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    Re: Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    A gorilla walks into a bar, sits on a stool and says to the bartender, "Gimmie a grasshopper." "I'm sorry, I can't serve you that," says the bartender. Whereupon the gorilla leaps off his stool, roars, thumps his chest, hollers, "It's because I'm black, isn't it!" And proceeds to smash everything in the bar and then stomp off.

    Two months later, the same gorilla walks into the same bar, sits on a stool and says to the bartender, "Gimmie a grasshopper." "I'm sorry, I can't serve you that," says the bartender. Whereupon the gorilla leaps off his stool, roars, thumps his chest, hollers, "It's because I'm foreign, isn't it!" And proceeds to smash everything in the bar and then stomp off.

    A few months later, the same gorilla walks into the same bar, sits on a stool and says to the bartender, "Gimmie a grasshopper." "I'm sorry, I can't serve you that," says the bartender. Whereupon the gorilla leaps off his stool, roars, thumps his chest, hollers, "It's because I'm ugly, isn't it!" And proceeds to smash everything in the bar and then stomp off.

    A few months later, the same gorilla walks into the same bar, sits on a stool and says to the bartender, "Gimmie a grasshopper." "I'm sorry, I can't serve you that," says the bartender." This time the gorilla sighs deeply, puts his head in his hands, and wails, "Why? Why won't you serve me?" "We're out of creme de menthe," says the bartender.
    Roland Stens

  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    Re: Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    I liked the headache one ;-D

  8. #8
    SQA Knight
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    Re: Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    A Gorilla, a Baboon and a Lemur all walk into a bar...

    Uh... no, it's a Gorilla, a Lemur and a Chimpanzee all walk into a bar...

    No... it's a Gorilla, an Orangutan and a Chimpanzee all walk into a bar...

    No, dang it... it's a Gorilla, a Chimpanzee and a Benobo all walk into a bar...

    Oh frack it... the punch line has something to do with your mother was a pro-simian and your father was a monkey.

    Jim
    Jim
    -------------------------------------------
    For all the general stuff to know about QA/Test go here http://www.softwareqatest.com/

  9. #9
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    Re: Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    Two *** gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they noticed that the huge male gorilla massively excited. This fascinated the *** men so much they couldn't take their eyes off of it. One of the men just couldn't bear it any longer and he reached into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabbed him, dragged him into the cage and sc**wed him for six hours non-stop.

    When he was done, the gorilla threw the *** man back out of the cage. An ambulance was called and the man was taken away to the hospital. The next day his friend visits him in the hospital and asked, "Are you hurt?" "AM I HURT?" he shouted, "Wouldn't you be? That big ape hasn't called, he hasn't written..."
    Personal Comment

    Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
    ~ Winston Churchill ~


    ...Rich Wagner

  10. #10
    Senior Member
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    Re: Genesis of Gorilla Testers

    You are so BAD, Rich!!

 

 

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