lack of communication
I am not good expressive,i suposse to to interview in this month.is i have good subject knowledge but thinking about dont have good commnuication skills.please guys how can i improve my skills in commuinaction by going any kind of proces or practice,i can follow the rules.
any help that would be great appreciate.
Re: lack of communication
I would suggest that if you are looking for an English speaking position, you could try an "English for Professionals" course.
It very much depends upon your location, but here in Australia, we have courses such as "English for Doctors" and "English for Architects" etc for qualified people coming from another country.
If you are going for a job in your own language, then it is a bit easier. Try a public speaking course or just get involved in some local committee style structure such as local council meetings etc. This will help with your ability to express your point of view and deal with people who have different backgrounds etc.
Hope this helps.
"Not every solution was derived to address an obvious problem" - Me (quite recently indeed)
Re: lack of communication
Quick Tips for Masterful Communication
Watch your language. You may use metaphors to offer something your audience can relate to -- a common thought or feeling. But many leaders rely on battle metaphors or violent, divisive language such as "Let's conduct guerrilla warfare," or "obliterate the competition." These metaphors reinforce win-lose, self-interested behavior rather than collaboration. Even many sports metaphors have becomeempty clichιs. Opt for clear, positive language and straightforward sincerity to foster shared understanding and earn the support of your group.
Follow through. Failure to follow through on rhetoricaccounts for no small amount of the cynicism and weariness seen in today's workplace. If you make a promise, follow through with action, even if the action ends up being an explanation of why the promise can't be enacted. Also, don't contradict your rhetoric by, for example, talking about great customer service while treating fellow colleagues arrogantly or rudely.
Deal with uncertainty. Don't be afraid to talk about failure, midcourse adjustments, or "bugs" that the organization must work through. Create the expectation that these will be a normal part of organizational life. You'll be telling the truth. Throughout a transition, clearly communicate the context of what it means and why decisions were made (goals, reasons, participants, estimated effects, costs, etc.).
Be an active listener. Good listening is an art too few people have mastered. Concentrate on the speaker's message, and resist distractions. Keep an open mind to others' ideas. Don't tune out if you disagree. Indicate you understand what the speaker said by reframing key points: "Let me be sure I understand correctly. You're saying
Manage conflict. Identify and involve major stakeholders. Hold one-on-one or very small group discussions early to vent anger. Make sure that everyone knows in advance why meetings are called. Set ground rules that create an "attack-free," safe haven for dialogue. Use nonjudgmental, noninflammatory language like "I perceive
" or "It seems to me
" Reiterate that personal attacks and blame aren't constructive. Identify and reiterate common ground or common goals; focus on areas of agreement. Don't force a resolution; it's OK to agree to disagree.
Respond, don't "re-act." We often "re-act" to others based on something that happened to us before. Responding mindfully rather than re-acting emotionally requires self-knowledge and discipline, but it allows us to be more effective in our communication. As a leader, you're a role model - you set the tone for what's appropriate in the organization. Reflect on your hot buttons, and identify a "keep calm" strategy for when they get pushed.
Give feedback. Many of us soften feedback - at the expense of clarity - to avoid confrontation. Provide specific examples that illustrate your critique. For example, instead of "Your attitude is bad" or "That just didn't work," say, "When you miss deadlines, then cross your arms and look away when I talk with you, it gives me the impression you don't care about the quality of your work. Can you help me understand this differently?" Don't forget positive feedback; studies show that a high percentage of employees rarely receive positive feedbackfrom their manager.
Invite participation. Hold meetings that include employees from different areas, and encourage everyone to contribute. Ask employees to send you e-mail regarding their ideas for doing things more effectively, and respond to all queries. Have a "graffiti wall" where employees and leaders can exchange concerns and ideas. This will provide the group with different perspectives of the issues discussed and help ensure the top-down/bottom-up information flow.
Keep your team up-to-date. Let employees know how their efforts compare to their performance goals and how they are supporting the total picture. Be honest; communicate bad news as well as good news.
Connect personally with employees. Since someemployees may not have frequent contact with you, create opportunities to do so. Sincere face-to-face interaction is key; it gives more weight to telephone, e-mail, or print communications between meetings.
Take advantage of communication resources. Studies show that the most successful entrepreneurs and leaders know their limitations and seek outside counsel and resources.
10 Tips for Communicating Change
While organizational change requires more than 10 tips, here are 10 key things to keep in mind when planning, announcing, implementing, and communicating a change initiative:
1. Remember that there's no one perfect way to communicate change. Change is uncomfortable, and adapting to change is messy. The perfect Gantt chart does not a painless change experience make. Why? Because tasks are easy to list, but behavior and long-held habits are not easy to change. Gather outside information, solicit perspectives, and adapt the approaches for your organization and group.
2. Start by asking yourself what exactly is changing and why. Too many programs are heavy on the jargon and light on the substance of what the buzz phrases mean in the day-to-day reality of the organization' s people. You have to make that link. For example, what does it mean when you say the organization needs to be more responsive? What behaviors characterize a so-called flat organization? Go to the root of what you're trying to achieve from an organizational behavior perspective, and give the jargon life.
3. Know what results you want, ideally, from both the change initiative and the communication program or tactic. What's the call to action for the communication program? What's the call to action for the specific communication tactic? What systemic or operations changes are under way that provide the framework for the desired results and behaviors?
4. Include communication strategists at the very beginning of the discussions about the change, on the strategic team from the start. Too often, qualified communicators are involved after backlash is in full force, when the leaks and rumor mills are rampant. The corporate lawyer or the MBA with one or two classes in PowerPoint is not qualified to understand how the people of the organization will respond to change and what information they'll need. Their particular expertise is most likely legal requirement and cost cutting, not communication.
5. Share information with employees as soon as possible. There's a real dilemma in public companies, where investor communication is a priority and employees hear about a merger or reorganization on their car radio while commuting to work. Once fear and insecurity are heightened, you waste a lot of time getting back to a place of order, understanding, and productivity, and many people head for their desks to update rιsumιs and to call employment recruiters.
6. Keep in mind that quantity is fine, but quality and consistency are crucial. Most CEOs and managers are quoted as saying, "You can't communicate too much," but you can communicate too much insigificant or insensitive information. You can't communicate too much significant, substantial information.
7. Longevity. Remember that a change effort starts with the announcement or a merger or change initiative. Many leaders and managers underestimate the length of time required by a change cycle. That's why numerous reports indicate poor performance following many IPOs, mergers, change initiatives, etc. Just as Rome wasn't built in a day, neither do people and organizations change in a week, or even a year. Think of it as changing some very ingrained habits; that's what you're doing.
8. Remember to use a variety of communication pathways and vehicles. Some organizations make an enormous mistake in using only one vehicle, such as e-mail or the company intranet site. Redundancy and repetition are helpful in creating an effective communication program.
9. Don't confuse process -- visioning, chartering change teams, planning, endless PowerPoint presentations -- with communication. While those meetings and processes can be communication vehicles if designed mindfully and handled in the context of a broader program, they aren't adequate to meet change communication needs.
10. Give people multiple opportunities to share concerns, ask questions, and offer ideas, and make following up with answers and updates a top priority. The more people are involved in the process, the fewer you'll have walking out the door or worse, staying and acting as internal saboteurs.
Tools for Boosting Communication Effectiveness
Tips on how to boost the effectiveness of communication in meetings, during change initiatives, and in interviews . Communication and organizational development tools are the fodder of many intellectual discussions. However, without action, they collect " mental dust" and benefit no one.
Always on the lookout for real-world ways to employ effective tools in the today' s world, we' ve put together some great tips on how to use three outstanding communication- and organizational-development technologies --Appreciative Inquiry, Dialogue, and Open Space Technology --with ways you can apply these " systems strategies" in smaller ways throughout your organization:
IN A MEETING
Circle up: Ensure that no one person is the " head of the table" or in control of the discussion (and therefore what gets discussed, and how). A circle of chairs welcomes others to participate fully and contribute ideas that enrich the group.
Employ the law of mobility: If you find that you are not learning or contributing in the meeting, use your two feet and walk to a more productive place. This saves your time and reduces the likelihood of worthless meetings. Also, discussion-in-motion can have the advantage of breaking through log-jams that occur when people are --and sometimes silenced by -- traditional meeting venues.
Suspend judgment: Don' t arrive at conclusions until you have honestly absorbed multiple perspectives and ideas. When you automatically conclude that you're right and others are wrong, you eliminate any possibilities for dialogue and participation (and your perception may not even be correct!). Just because you think something, doesn't make it universally true. Why shut the door on a potentially great idea for your group?
Leverage what works: Rather than sticking to a formulaic meeting style -- agenda, flip chart, one meeting leader and a task list -- conduct your meeting in a manner that works best for the group. Apply this thinking to the ideas shared during the meeting, too.
DURING A CHANGE INITIATIVE
Tap into personal responsibility and passion: The success of Open Space Technology rests on --and requires --commitment from all players. Through meaningful and respectful communication, tap into each participant' s motivation and interests in order to allow those participants to take the gifts discovered during the meeting out into the organization in positive and lasting ways.
Stay curious: Don' t make accusations, advocate for or tear down elements of a change initiative (or other topic of discussion). Pause long enough maintain your curiosity about what is happening, why it' s happening and how you fit into it all. This allows you to gather more information, which can expand understanding, reduce stress and eliminate the " instant assumptions" and resulting judgments that we humans normally (and all too often) make. When you feel the urge to slam the door on the discussion with an " I'm right" statement, ask a question.
Use stories: An organization' s " inner dialogue" or stories help shape the culture. Communicate real-life stories that exemplify your organization' s ideal culture, benefits, areas of potential and strength, and where the company is headed.
AS PART OF AN INTERVIEW (or even a meeting with someone you don't know well)
Focus: Whether the interviewer or interviewee, concentrate on real business issues that you' re passionate about. You' ll be more able to identify " good fit" employees and employers, or vendors, associates and clients.
Understand your intentions: Ask about the intentions of others. Respectful and honest questions about a person' s interntions -- including one' s own -- can help reveal how well one' s thinking compares with organizational culture. Also, by allowing yourself to become familiar with someone else's (or your own) intentions, you deepen your understanding of why someon else thinks the way they do.
See the flip side of unfavorable traits: Someone who seems jittery in an interview might actually be nervous because she wants the job very much. Someone who seems overly strident or judgmental may simply have at his core the intention of making a positive difference. An interviewer who asks tough questions without cracking a smile might have such admiration for the company, that he wants to ensure that only the best of the best become employees, and this is the only approach he knows to select the top candidates. Ask probing questions to delve more deeply and collect more information, rather than making assumptions based only on " surface traits." Beyond that, allow someone else his or her humanity --even if it doesn't measure up to your personal standards of perfection!
Discover your reasons to reflect: Find your own reasons to reflect, rather than external ones. If you' re averse to reflection, consider why you are resisting it, and ask yourself whether this is truly a productive position to hold or whether it is limiting you. Ask, " Why am I resisting this suggestion to go inward, or be more reflective, and what potentially positive outcomes does that produce or block?"
Be comfortable in the unknown: Don' t be surprised by elements that arise in your mind, such as potential career shifts, new ways of seeing old habits and possibilities that are " out of the norm." Reflection opens the doors to new understandings and perspectives. Remember that you can choose fear or faith in the face of the unknown.
Motivate yourself: Rather than hamper your mindset by thinking of everything that' s wrong with you, concentrate on what' s right and what you enjoy about yourself. Then, determine how you can expand these traits to other parts of your self-expression. Balance this with a bit of external feedback to ensure that your assumptions about yourself are correct -- such as if you ask someone else to " accentuate the positives" about you or share ways in which you might become more skillful.
Work through Writer's Block
Need help working through some written projects? Experts offer eight tips for clear and effective writing.
The basic act of writing seems simple to most: Put pen to paper or fingertips to keyboard. What foils many would-be authors? The defining elements of content and structure. Because most professionals are required to write memos, reports, department communications, and the like, a facility for writing effectively can have monumental results:
Less time spent reworking documents
Confidence in your materials, ensuring that your audience members are getting the information they need
A well-informed audience
The ability to communicate more clearly and accurately
Writing is a craft, and some people are naturally predisposed to superb writing. Yet even critically acclaimed authors suffer bouts of writer' s block. Fortunately, all writers can improve by following certain processes and mind-set management devices.
Here are tips that we have gathered and used:
Research. Be certain that you have the data, perspective, and/or ancillary information you need to write about your topic (including having an opinion on the topic) before you begin. Otherwise, you' ll flounder from issue to issue and not end up with a coherent, meaningful piece.
Start with a theme sentence. Write a sentence or two that encompasses the key point of your communication. Do not paralyze yourself by editing this sentence ad infinitum. Your theme sentence serves as an anchor that you refer back to throughout the writing process to ensure that you' re sticking to the point.
Create an outline. Walk yourself through the points that you want to make in the written piece instead of banging on your keyboard, spilling every thought you' ve ever had about the topic. Again, without a path to follow, you' ll wander around the topic for hours before reaching your key point. This is not to say that during the research stage you can' t "brain dump" all of your information into a rambling journal entry. If this activity fuels your thinking, great. Just don' t allow it to hinder the writing process.
Nurture your creative side. All mechanics and no free-flowing brainstorming make for dull writing. Play with toys, surf the Web, talk with colleagues -- do whatever it takes to get both sides of your brain into the act of writing.
Allow space and time to write. Writing well requires both time and an uncluttered mind. Ensure that you' ve created the mental space to write, and allow yourself a block of time to set your work down and revisit it with a fresh eye. You' ll be amazed at how clearly you' re able to see your work as your audience will and make the appropriate adjustments. Don' t force your writing. (In Life Work , author Donald Hall refers to the time it will take for a piece to write itself.) If you' re under deadline, create a backup system, such as a peer reviewer, to offer objective perspective on your behalf.
Learn from others' edits. Ask the people reviewing your work to write their comments on the page for you, as opposed to making the changes to the document and sending it out. This way, you can pick up on organizational writing preferences, for example, and learn rules of writing such as AP Style and options for tightening content.
Practice. Don' t let your writing skills atrophy. Create exercises and opportunities to continue writing in a variety of styles for a variety of audiences.
Take action and write. When you' re ready to write, just write. Don' t self-edit as you write, worry about punctuation, or go back and refine your theme sentence. Do get your key points on the page, use the language that first comes to mind, and realize that this is your first pass at the content. Self-editing and instantaneous proofreading can be huge obstacles in the writing process. You' re pulling your mind into the nitty-gritty details before it' s had a chance to release all of the information - somewhat like slamming on your brakes at 90 miles an hour. Revving up to 90 after this screeching halt is tough. Doing it repeatedly will blow out your mental engine.
Informed, reasoned replies that position you in the most
favorable light increase your prospects for landing the job.
Answering the toughest interview questions effectively is the most important aspect of the job search. These all-important interviews are a major part of the process. Remember: the best resume does not land the job; the best interviewee does. It is very possible for someone to get a job without a resume. But rarely does a person get a job without an effective interview. This is true for most positions and becomes increasingly true the higher up a person proceeds through the organizational hierarchy.
To prepare for the best interview possible, you need to have great answers to a broad range of questions:
Small talk is the lubricant of social interaction. It is a way to break the ice and establish some rapport.
Would you like something to drink? A cigarette?
Do not become hung up on the more weighty aspects and hidden meanings of the issue (i.e., some cultures use an offer of a drink to determine the astuteness of the candidate). Even if you want a cup of coffee, pass on politely. This is not a social call.
I see that you drive a ____. How is it?
Whether or not the only purpose for the question is to set you at ease, treat it as such and be brief and to the point. If it is the worst car you have ever owned, do not let on.
How do you like living in ____?
Be positive. Even if it is the worst place in the world, try to identify something about it that can be mentioned in an attractive light.
What do you think about (any controversial, in-the news-topic)?
Show that you are informed but try to avoid taking sides. By staying above giving an opinion, you are sustaining a 'mystique' and you make interviewers keep trying to determine who you are.
By seeing your likes and dislikes and by finding out about other non-business-related issues, interviewers have a better understanding of what you are about on and off the job.
Tell me about yourself.
To know how to respond is important and to do so in two minutes or less is essential. More than two minutes increases the possibility of either boring interviewers or losing their attention. Take the time before the meeting to plan a script.
Have you thought of leaving your current/past position before?
If so, what held you there? Good interviewers ask this question. They are attempting to learn your motivation and your ability to consider a course of action and then take it.
What do you look for in a job?
Describe a situation that shows you and the organization as linked. For example, "I am seeking a position where I can make a meaningful contribution continuously and grow professionally."
How do you feel about your career progress to date?
Regardless of your answer, demonstrate satisfaction to a point-and that point is the reason the deciding to move on in this direction now.
What do you think of your current/former boss?
In answering this question, caution, not candor, is the rule. This is a direct-assessment question to determine if there is a fit between you and the situation they are considering for you. Your choice of words when discussing your boss gives the interviewer a chance to evaluate your ability and under what conditions of leadership you can function most effectively.
Interviewers are interested in your "professional" education: what you know about the industry, their organization, the position, and your relationship to the future of their organization.
How much would it take to get you?
Try to find out the answer to this question as early as possible from classified ads for similar positions, information garnered in other interviews, recruiters, or industry research.
What have you learned from the jobs that you have held?
This is an opportunity to summarize your experience from a learning perspective, mention both the task aspects of work as well as the people relationships.
What do you think our biggest problem is?
What do you feel is our biggest advantage over our competition? Here is a chance to show not only that you did your homework in preparing for this meeting, but that you have great professional bearing and an in-depth knowledge of the industry and its other key players.
What important trends do you see in our industry?
This question requires focus and preparation. You need to be able to speak knowledgeably about the industry, what issues relate to the industry, and how the organization perceives its effectiveness in dealing with the trends the industry faces.
Experience questions are the most important to deal with for two reasons: First, they force applicants to review what has previously occurred in their professional lives. Second, they are a great opportunity for the candidates to shine.
What was it like working with your current/last work group?
Briefly mention the demographics of the work group. Characterize the group in terms of the work situation - tight-knit, high work ethic, and so on. Avoid gossip and catty details.
Have you ever had to fire someone?
Firing employees goes with a manager's territory. If you have not fired anyone, the thinking is that you have not had a complete management experience. The easiest answer is an affirmative one with no conditions or hedging. If you have done it, say so and stop.
Describe how your last/current job relates to the overall goals of your department and organization.
This relates directly to the "value-added" - what value do you add to the organization?
Tell me about a project in your current/past job that you really got excited about.
If you feel that none of your projects qualifies in the interviewer's perception as "major," then preface your remarks with that comment: "I don't think any of the projects I have participated in will qualify as 'major.' Nevertheless, let me tell you about this one that was essential to
What were/are your most important decisions on your last/current job?
Take a matter-of-fact tome and identify the aspects of your job that gave you the opportunity to make meaningful decisions. The level of the position dictates the weight of the decision.
What do you think is the most difficult aspect of being a manager?
"Giving bad news" is an succinct and direct as one can get. This answer provides a brief valid answer that begs the interviewer to ask you for more.
One increasingly popular way of determining a candidate's effectiveness is with the use of behavioral questions. Proponents of this approach contend that past performance is the best predictor of future performance ("can do" - "Will do" again).
What is your management style?
Provide examples that demonstrate this style. Consider a situation where you had the opportunity to get things done through others and recall what made you effective or ineffective. Did you communicate effectively? Stress teamwork? Did you get your hands dirty?
Describe a situation when the team fell apart.
What was your role in the outcome? Do not be concerned about the "failure" aspect of the question. The interviewer wants an idea, based on your experience, how you deal with adversity: first, that you recognize problems when they occur and second, that you are able to do something about them.
Describe what happened yesterday at work/typical day in your current/last position.
This great question offers you a chance to define and establish the way you perceive your job in specific terms -- a particular day's activities and accomplishments. The picture you present should be accurate even though the events did not happen yesterday.
Candidates must recognize that the best "products" do not always sell; a lot depends on the ad campaign, product placement in the store, and the buyers mood. Understanding this fact helps applicants see that, although they are the best candidates, they will not get the offer because they are poor interviewees. Once you identify this opportunity, preparation for the interview becomes crucial to success. To do otherwise is to take an unnecessary gamble.
Improving Your Voice
When you are talking with customers on the telephone, the impression you make depends entirely on the sound of your voice. Speaking traits that are relatively unimportant in person become critical to your success on the phone.
The best customer service people know they must use their voices to hold the customer's interest and add impact to the message. A good speaking voice is clear, enjoyable, and convincing. Not everyone is born with these qualities, but they can be developed. Here are some ways you can improve your voice.
It's a fact that people prefer listening to lower-pitched voices than higher ones. A high-pitched voice is like the wail of a fire siren--it gets attention, but it quickly becomes an annoyance. By contrast, the rich tones of church organ are much easier to listen to. Your goal is to develop a rich tone of voice so customers will want to stay on the line and listen to what you have to say.
Add depth to your voice, try opening your mouth wider when your speak. Instead of pushing your words out through your teeth, carefully form your words with your lips.
Ventriloquists practice this principle in reverse. That's why the dummy always has a high-pitched voice--his words are spoken through a mouth that's almost closed. It works for ventriloquists, but it's an annoying practice in normal conversation. Keep your lips moving. Your words will sound clearer and more enjoyable to your customers.
Avoid cough drops, cigarettes, or chewing gum while you're speaking. They make it difficult to open your mouth, and the pitch of your voice goes up.
Stress Affects Your Voice
Stress can also make your voice higher. If you're feeling tense or nervous, your throat muscles stiffen, preventing your voice from sounding relaxed. Try this breathing exercise to relax your throat and improve your vocal quality:
Inhale deeply through your nose, and hold your breath for several seconds. Now slowly exhale through the mouth until your lungs have emptied. You'll feel the muscles in your throat, neck, and shoulders relax. The key is awareness. You must be conscious of the times you are under stress so that you can practice this ritual before you begin your phone calls.
Actors, opera singers, and orators have always taken lessons to train their voices. But today, voice training is not restricted to professions in the entertainment field. Lawyers, executives, lecturers, and salespeople are realizing that the voice is an important ingredient in their success--and that the voice they were born with is not the one they need t live with
A good speaking voice comes with practice. Repeat your lines in front of a mirror to make sure your lips and your mouth are moving. Use a tape recorder to help you hear what your customers are hearing. Work on your voice until you are completely satisfied with the way you sound.
You can sound more pleasant and convincing to your customers with a little work. It's worth the effort. The results will speak for themselves.
What Callers Shouldnot Hear
Avoid these five phrases when speaking to customers over the phone:
"I don't know."
Try: "That's a good question. Let me check and find out."
"Just a second."
Try: "It could take me a few minutes to get that information. Could you hold while I check or should I call you back?"
Try: "I haven't gotten to that yet."
"We can't do that."
Try: "That's a tough one. Let me see what I can do."
"You'll have to
" or "You should ... "
Try: "here's how we can help you."
Some Cellular Phone Tips
If you have a cellular phone, you've got to be careful about fraud. Tips:
Turn your phone off when you leave your car. Better yet, take it with you if possible. Numbers can be copied whenever the phone is on.
Request a personal identification number (PIN). These codes are becoming more common, although some carriers don't offer them yet.
Boosting Ur Self Confidence
Plant a Garden Daily
If coming to work has become an ordeal, making you sluggish and cynical try to cultivate a fresh perspective. Plant a garden daily. Here's how:
five rows of "PEAS" (prepare, praise, be prompt, be polite, and persevere)
three rows of "SQUASH" (squash gossip, criticism, and indifference)
three rows of "LETTUCE" (let us be loyal, truthful, and unselfish)
three rows of "TURNIPS" (turn up with ideas, determination, and improvement)
Feel Good about Yourself
Lacking in self-confidence and looking for ways to give yourself a boost? Our tips will perk you up and help you walk tall.
1. If you must examine your "faults", do so with the mirror, not a magnifying glass don't allow them to get out of proportion. For example, restate, "I'm buried in debt," as, "I owe $500 on credit cards."
2. Learn to do without the word "should". Instead of telling yourself, "I should have finished that job on Friday," substitute the word "could". Realize you have the option of exercising your own choice.
3. Rethink your "mistakes" as lessons learnt, which will help you to prevent future ones.
4. Next time somebody compliments you, don't automatically protest, but gracefully accept.
5. Discard the myth of perfection. Nobody does everything perfectly.
6. Brooding never fixes the problem. To let go of something that's nagging you, give yourself 15 minutes of worry time, then move on.
7. Never compare yourself with others; the point is to improve on your own past performance.
8. Keep a written list of all your accomplishments, however small. Next time feelings of inadequacy threaten to dampen your spirits, you'll have something to look back on and be proud of.
9. Give yourself time to feel good. When you reach an objective, allow for a period of celebration before going on to the next goal.
10. Keep a diary to validate all your thoughts and feelings.
11. Spend time with a friend who cares about you and lets you know it. Friends are an important source of support and objectivity.
12. Make the list of all the people and things in your life for which you are grateful. Recognizing that you are deserving of all these good things will make you feel good about who you are and what you've done.
13. Plan an escape. For example, on a sunny day, rent a convertible and take a drive with the top down.
14. Become more interesting by being more interested (in people, new hobbies, current events, etc).
15. Give yourself a pep talk. Encourage yourself just as you do your best friend, or as a best friend would do for you.
16. Look at old photographs and reflect on the richness of the events or relationships depicted and how they have enhanced your life. Then plan how you can add more of these events or relationships to your life.
17. Wake up happy. Begin each day with a fun routine. Sing in the shower. If you're not already in a cheerful mood, put on your favorite upbeat tape or CD; load it into the stereo the night before.
18. When you break a negative habit, replace it with a positive one. This way your life won't see emptier. For instance, if you give up your daily chocolate block, either put the money saved towards a weekly bouquet of flowers or a visit to the cinema.
19. Start each morning with a vision of yourself doing all the right things at work, at play and at home. Mentally rehearse the act of winning, just as the professional athletes do.
20. Tell yourself that you are brave as well as likeable. Next time you fell tempted to say hello to a person in a queue, go right ahead.
21. Have a clean out and pass items you no longer use to those who need them. It's amazing how, by getting rid of those old possessions, you make space for wonderful new ones, thoughts and even experiences.
22. Learn a new skill such as dancing, preparing gourmet cuisine or pottery. Learning the basics will give you a taste of success.
23. Spend a weekend at a deluxe hotel and have breakfast in bed. Pamper yourself by the pool.
24. Have a fabulous new haircut, or perhaps a manicure and facial.
25. Take risks. You'll accomplish more and feel good about being brave.
26. Set easy-to-meet, incremental goals. Don't say, "I'm taking charge of my career." Instead, join a professional group or take on a work-related course. You'll feel so good about the results that taking the next step will be much easier.
27. Don't wait to get sick to take care of your health. Order a salad for lunch. Sign up for an exercise class. Snack on fruit instead of junk food.
28. Even if you're not feeling confident, act as if you are. Soon you will realize you're no longer faking it.
29. Affirm your power to change or to remain the same. If you aren't ready to give up a bad habit such as smoking, accept that at this time you choose this habit as a method of coping, and that you can eventually choose to replace it with a healthier one.
30. Make a collage of what you want to create in life. Cut out pictures of things you want (a car, a child, a garden), the things you want to do (travel, learn tennis, do charity word) and words or images that represent qualities you want more of in life (love, adventure).
Learn to Like Yourself
It's a strange idea, isn't it? That you have to like yourself and that you might need to learn how to do it.
Maybe you are quite happy with the kind of person you are and the image you present to the world. If so, good for you! But if you can't honestly say "like myself" or if you are not sure this is vital. Ask yourself: If I don't like myself, how can I expect anyone else to like me?
When you like yourself, you are able to say "I wish I had someone like me as a friend". So how do you learn to like yourself more? It's all about feeling good about yourself, and that starts with feeling good about the way you look.
Feel Good Look Good
The two are intertwined, change one and you can change the other. Start with the way you look, if only because that's the easiest way to break our cycle of failure. Remember how you feel when you've just had your hair cut, or just bought new clothes that suit your perfectly? You should feel that good everyday.
If you look miserable, you'll get sympathy if you look positive, you'll get support. Even when you are down, make yourself look your best and people will respond to your positive image, which will in turn lift your spirits.
Your appearance tells people how you feel about yourself, so don't shackle yourself to a drab exterior.
The first thing to do is look in a mirror. Make a list of all the things you don't like about your appearance. Now go through them one by one and make the best of what you've got. Have your hair done, buy new specs or switch to contact lenses, get your teeth fixed, trim your beard, improve your make-up every bit helps.
D is for Determination
You have to work at this as if it were a mega-budget project. After all, you want to end up feeling a million dollars. Be trying, you are already succeeding. Doing nothing is the greatest failure.
Wear the right colors you come alive. Knowing what colors to wear, you never waste money on "wrong" clothes.
Once you've discovered your best colors, revamp your wardrobe. Many large department stores have fashion consultants who will help. You don't have to change your whole wardrobe at once. Just wearing the right colored scarf or tie can make the difference.
Each small step is an improvement. Everytime you buy an item of clothing, make sure it is the right color. Or dye older clothes to the right shade.
In the Mirror
Every day you should look in the mirror and like what you see a little more. Start by taking a good long look at yourself. Do you think you're too fat or too thin? Do you feel sluggish and tired?
To be at your best you need to eat well and to exercise. There's no need to join a health club or become a gym junkie. Walking, swimming or cycling will do just as well. Try getting off the bus or train a stop or two further away from your workplace, or park your car further away. That walk in the morning and at night will make all the difference.
There's no need to go on a crazy cash diet either. All you need to do is to use a little common sense, you only get one body look after it and it will last you a lifetime!
Eat less fatty food and more fresh fruit and vegetables. It's that easy. When you start eating better food, you'll feel brighter, stronger and healthier. You will be in better shape too.
Every Step you Take
Each change makes the next easier. A friend was very down, physically and emotionally, until she went to a color consultant. Wham! She realized that part of her own problem was that she was trapping herself in the wrong colors.
She changed her wardrobe, then her hair color. She looked better, felt better and was inspired to lose weight.
This woman, a dietitian, had been so miserable that she had become a junk-food junkie. But once she'd broken the vicious circle by making herself look good, she felt good and didn't want to eat rubbish any more. As you change, and appreciate the power you have to change yourself, your confidence will grow. You will look good. You will feel good. Everything will begin to get better.
Succeeding with Others
If you like yourself, others will be more inclined to like you. Friends who once felt sorry for you will feel admiration and envy and by being positive and liking yourself, you will be more likely to choose friends who are positive.
Liking yourself gives you the confidence to make friends and business contacts on your terms. Personal and work relationships will thrive as you lose the need for reassurance. People will respect your judgement more, especially when you disagree, because they will know you are not driven by the need to boost your ego.
S is for Self-Confidence
Success starts with self-confidence. The wonderful thing about success and self-confidence is that they feed off each other. So recognize each small success in your life and your confidence will grow. Use that confidence every time you try something and your chances of success will increase,
Self-confidence makes the possible probable. You can do anything you want to do. We're not talking about impossible dreams just realistic, achievable goals.
Go just one step further than you've ever gone before and your confidence will blossom.
Don't expect everyone to like you. Life is a lot of things, but unless you are a politician or a movie star it is not a popularity contest.
Even then, as the greatest actress Bette Davis said: "If everybody likes you, you're not doing it right."
That doesn't mean you should go out of your way to be disliked there will always be people who will dislike you, regardless of what you do or say. Some people simply don't like anybody. But that's their problem.
Liking yourself if enough.
And it gives you one true friend for life.
Pay Attention to the Rituals in your Life
Good rituals signal importance in your life and help you achieve your goals by giving you control. Eating, sleeping, and exercising at specific times each day are examples of good rituals.
Bad rituals, such as two-martini lunches, taking sleep medications each night, and smoking to calm nerves, interfere with your performance and make it harder to reach your goals.
Twelve important rituals: Critical life rituals fall into twelve general categories. Review this list to see where you need to improve.
Go to bed and get up each day at the same time. Get seven to eight hours of sleep each night. Most experts agree that's what you need to perform your best.
Set aside twenty to thirty minutes each day for exercise. If you spend much of your day sitting, a late afternoon exercise session will actually give you more energy. That's why you shouldn't exercise too close to bedtime.
Develop a regular routine of eating. It's best to eat often and light instead of alternating periods of fast and large meals. Always start with breakfast and eat something every two hours.
Make sure some of your rituals include family. Family rituals can be as common as eating dinner together or as infrequent as celebrating anniversaries and birthdays.
Spend time exploring the meaning of life and where you are going. You need to include these rituals, whether formal or informal. To ensure personal growth.
Some rituals prepare you for bigger daily tasks. For example, you might create a to-do list before beginning your day or put your office in order before taking your first appointment. Even just visualizing how you want your day to unfold qualifies as a preperformance ritual.
Control your reaction to traffic and jet lag by creating your own travel rituals. For example, routinely leave fifteen minutes early, play music that you enjoy en route, or develop an anti-jet lag plan that helps you physically adjust to long flights.
Spend half the time you are on the phone walking, stretching, or otherwise moving around. Summon your ideal performance state before talking a difficult phone call.
Do something special for yourself between appointments, phone calls, or meetings. Eating a healthy snack, stepping outside into the sunshine, or walking up and down several flights of stairs qualify. Traditional coffee breaks do not.
10. Creative time.
Balance your life by pursuing gardening, photography, writing, music, or other artistic activities.
Develop rituals to shift gears between office and home. Learn to leave your problems at work and reenergize yourself on the way back home.
12. Time alone.
If you're always surrounded by people at home, on the way to work, and at the office try to find some time twice a day to be alone. It can make a crucial difference in your feeling of being in control.
Keep a daily dairy or journal to track your rituals. Take specific steps to remedy those that are deficient and add others that are missing.
Rapid Reading Advice
For those with an overload "in" box, consider these tips:
Read only the first sentence of each paragraph on a document, then selectively read key paragraphs.
Set aside reading time during the morning - most people tend to read more quickly and with better concentration early in the day.
Arrange not to be interrupted during reading time.
When examining a book or report, always look at the summary first.
15 Minutes To Greater Productivity
Time management and productivity often go hand-in-hand. Use the STOP method to make sure you are making the most of your time.
See clearly you problems and objectives. Identify what you must do to solve problems or meet goals as quickly as possible.
Target the causes of problems and the reasons behind what you are doing. Analyze your current action to determine whether it will effectively accomplish what it should.
Organize options. Are there faster but equally effective alternate methods to those you are currently using? Learn new methods that will save time in the long run.
Plan your work and proceed. Initiate the most efficient action plan to get the result you want.
One More Time: Get A Life
Break Those Old Habits
Does your weekend usually include a few hours at the office? Do you pick up dinner at the nearby restaurant or fast-food chain? Is your significant other your laptop computer? If so, you suffer from a common complaint among executives: the lack of life.
Here are the warning signs:
Lack of clarity and focus. You work hard, but does the work matter to you?
Unclear time boundaries. If you frequently look up from your desk surprised to find that you're late for a personal occasion, your workload is making decisions about your life rather than you.
Unclear boundaries in your thought life. Does your off-hours conversation revolve around your job?
Lack of fulfilling relationships. Does your family complain that about the time you spend working?
Weakened spiritual life. You may have forgotten that work should be an element of the transcendence in your life, not a barrier.
There are telltale signs of workaholism:
It's dark when you leave for work - and for home - even in summer.
No matter how hard you work, it never seems enough.
You have no fun, but have fantasies of escaping.
You don't know what's happening in the lives of your loved ones.
You're plagued by aches and pains.
You forget things you've known for years.
You can't get into the car without turning on the radio or getting on the phone.
You buy exercise equipment or enroll in a health club - without using them.
Your attitude, dress, work habits, and general behavior affect your career. These nonwork trivialities, or NWTs, are just as important as job performance.
Take a good hard look at yourself. Do you treat everyone as an equal? Do you avoid making value judgements or jokes about individuals or groups because they're different from you? Do you think before you speak?
Do you treat your company's money as you would your own? Do you accept responsibility for your own actions?
Make a list of as many NWTs as you think of, including the above, and rate yourself. Think you need improvement? Model your behavior after a fast tracker
Re: lack of communication
Wow testing_1 did you print the whole book?
Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
~ Winston Churchill ~
Re: lack of communication
Is there an abstract available? [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]
Re: lack of communication
I didn't have time to read all the tips... but I wonder if delivering the right amount of information is would not be a good tip for effective communication [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]
Re: lack of communication
It's speed-reading practice. Click your center mouse button and drag the mouse downward about 1" (2.5 cm).
Re: lack of communication
Wouldn't it have been easier to give the link to the website? Especially since it has the info broken down into sections...
Re: lack of communication
<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica">Thanks for the tip John.
Originally posted by John J. Miller:
It's speed-reading practice. Click your center mouse button and drag the mouse downward about 1" (2.5 cm).
Know it's clear ! [img]images/icons/confused.gif[/img]
Re: lack of communication
To improve communications in a second language you might want to consider a tutor or a professional, maybe speech therapy, to assist in a rapid change.
Also immerse yourself in the culture that you are trying to get into.
Use grammar and spell checks when you have the opportunity - and look at what they are telling you, practice what they tell you.
Also you may want to consider if you are speaking too fast - Americans, english speaking people tend to talk slower than many other languages.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" --Thomas Edison